V is for VALUE.

Value is one of the magical words. We rarely deeply think about what are values are, and worse we don’t always think about if our actions and thoughts match our values. I often wonder if this is why many people seem deeply unhappy, regardless of their circumstances. People can have all the material wealth and apparent “success”, yet deep down they may know they had to compromise many of their values to attain it. On the flip side, some of the happiest people in the world live in places with low material wealth. I’m not saying you should quit your job, sell all your things and move to a little shack to be happy – there are middle roads!

First, let’s compare Values and Beliefs. It’s easy to mix them up. While related, and often inform each other, they are two different concepts.

Beliefs can still refer to abstract “unprovable” concepts such as faith, sayings such as “a penny saved is a penny earned”. They may not even be true at all – it’s just what we believe to be true.

We really get into trouble when our values, beliefs, and actions don’t support each other. When was the last time you deeply reflected on your values, beliefs and actions? Doing so without judgement (while hard) can result in a radical shift in mindset. Again, this doesn’t mean you have to give away all material goods, quit your job, or other drastic measures. BUT, maybe you can start looking for a job with a different company if their values differ from yours, or prepare for a career shift if the entire industry is in conflict. If you value health, but eat a lot of junk food, perhaps seeing your diet as a reflection of your values instead of a craving can help you cut down on fats, sugar, and excessive calories. 

You can download this list of common values to help you get started. I’ve split them between mostly Internal (how we value what’s in our control) and External (what we value in other people. community, etc). Many of the words can easily fit into both categories, but it can be helpful to select a few values from each list.